This is a post from a private blog that I share with some friends. Every once in a while I write stuff that makes me smile, but only because I'm so self-centered.

Once I heard a story about a man and an albatross. I don't if its true or not. He was in the military and imprisoned with some of his friends from his unit, and they were all kept in seperate room and couldn't see each other. Unfortunately, his friends all died while imprisioned. After weeks of starvation, his captors fed him a fabulous meal the night he was released. He asked what it was and they told him it was albatross. He loved it and dreamt about it many times after. Years later he and his wife celebrated their anniversary by going to a very fancy restuarant. He couldn't believe his luck when he saw that they had albatross on the menu. He immediately ordered it, remembering his wonderful meal the night he was released from imprisionment. When he got it, he realized that it didn't taste like albatross at all. He had not eaten albatross in captivity. He had eaten his dead friends, and enjoyed it.

Pretty gross, huh?

Yeah, so I got to write someone up at work today. Its a stepping stone in my career. Taking corrective action. Fun. Its some kid I absolutely despise. Here's what happened. It was 5 past 10, and we had just closed. We had an hour left to go. I walked the floor and realized market and chemicals, the 2 most time consuming areas in the store, had yet to be zoned. So I found my favorite person, Blair, who was beginning to zone all the way in the back of the store how far he was. He told me he was just starting to zone in that section. Here's our conversation:
Me: Blair, how far have you gotten over here?
Blair: Uh, Stationary and Appliances are done (which is one of the easiest sections) and I'm just starting this (which was the biggest section of the store, containing small appliances, furniture, home storage, pets, chemicals, market and mini seasonal). I'm just starting.
Me: (as I think: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, but I stayed calm) Ok, well, if you're just starting here then move up to market and chemicals. This back section doesn't look bad, but market is the one place that always need the most-
ring ring
Blair: (pulling his cell phone from his pocket) Excuse me.... (seeing the look on my face) Just a second. Hello? Yeah, I'm at work, can you hold on? (looking back at me) Go ahead.
I was too shocked to really think- and the next time I worked with him, I thought, wow, if I treated someone who was my boss that way, I'd surely get in trouble. Then I thought, who the fuck does he think he is? I don't care if I'm just a measly little nobody in this company, that night I was the manage, and therefore, his boss. So I told another manager today and she about flipped out. "HE CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S A NOTE TO FILE RIGHT THERE! THAT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC TERMINATION!" I was happy to see that she too was pissed off, and she went and told our boss, and she told me to write him up.
Fun.

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